P.L.E.Y. 0404 - Genova Deli on Broadway/51st

So sometimes I read Yelp.
Yea, sometimes.

Lotta the folks on there look like Douche-Bags.
Well, can't really say "look like" because I don't have an account (why should i, i have an f'in blog, baby!) and their pics are really small.
But alotta them sure do write like d-bags.

So when I look at dictionaries, I like to look up words I know and like. If I agree with the way they describe the words, then I like the dictionary. Same goes for a thing like Yelp - I like to look up places I like, and then I start trusting them with places I don't know yet. So why do I still not trust Yelp with places I don't know?

Place-I-know-and-like Case #1: Genova Deli, in Oakland at the little sad strip-mall on Broadway and 51st (right by the Aikido place and Bake Sale Betty's with the ironing board tables, and by the cheap-ass always-crowded Arco gas stand).

My beloved introduced me to the wonders of Genova, and although its not really "Italian" there, it satisfies my needs in the "big saucy/juicy sandwich" category. I love the crab salad sandwich, and it comes in "old '70's caddilac" size, which is really nice when you eat half out on the lawn (not included at Genova's sad little mall), and then half at work later (for those of you that work in the evenings, like I do).

The aubiance is nice an' homely, and the folks are all real nice Italian/Latino folks (sounds like J-Lo in some of her films, huh). They all build the 'wiches from the cutting board up, and you see the younger folks learning from the older folks. Most have have distinct personalities, but the beauty of it is that there is no drop-off between all of them - all make great sandwiches, and are friendly and sweet; the Walter-Cronkhite-looking gentleman that works at his own pace while talking about Looney Tunes, the large salt-n-pepper guy with quick-witted old-guy jokes (see someone's photo of him), the little kinda-squirrely guy that gave us free A's tix one time, the young latino dude with pencil-moustache and long hair, and the smiley young latino guy, as well as the get-it-done-quick latina and the others there. All friends in good sandwiches. Oh yea, and the older Authentically-Italian guy that restocks the drinks.

Now maybe my view on the place is a little utopian. Maybe there are other places that are more "authentic" or something, but I wouldn't know. I never ordered a sandwich in Rome, except for a ready-made panini across the street from the Vatican, that the large lady behind the counter threw into a open-n-close sandwich toaster, and it was the best Italian panini I've ever experienced, so so-much for "authentic."

So I go to Yelp, and after "learning" about places that I've seen and never been to, I look up a favorite of mine, Genova, and out of 368 reviews, I find a few negative ones. Granted, about 98% of the reviews are positive, so I shouldn't complain. But then I start reading these minus-minded-few, and they really get to me. Most of them are not valid 1-star or 2 star reviews, and it really gets to me that in line at Genova's, I could run into some schmuck that thinks this way. Opinions are what make the world go round, so you can think whatever you want to, about anything. But culture-bashing my favorite place is not okay to me. This is the territory from which I perch and view these few-but-really-lame reviews of my favorite sandwich place:

1-star yelp entry #1:

dog d. - San Francisco, CA - 1 star rating - 7/17/2008

Sorry everybody, I've gone in a couple times and had a hard time finding anything I wanted to eat here.
Most of the ingredients seemed way too packaged and the food preparation had no soul.
I've had both a sandwich and a hot dish and both weren't very good and were kind of pricey for what you got.

point #1: how do you rate a place at all, if you had a hard time finding anything I wanted to eat here ? Kinda missing the point, man, or I mean dog. dawg? maybe you should stick to the bagged and canned place. the PetFoodExpress and PetVet are up the street, man - I mean dog.

point #2: Most of the ingredients seemed way too packaged and the food preparation had no soul. Man, you should read my review, and go to the place I go to. Genova Deli! geez, dog, I dunno how its too packaged, when the stuff they make the 'wiches with are all laid out in tubs and the bread in baskets. maybe you didn't like the baskets. hmm.

point #3: "both weren't very good and were kind of pricey for what you got." So you being from Frisco, maybe you're used to Oakland being low-cost, huh. That's a real negative assumption on my town, man, I mean dog. I guess you're a Frisco snob-type. Like I said, stick to the canned food - my cat likes that stuff too.

1-star yelp entry #2:

Pearl F. - Oakland, CA - 1 star rating - Updated - 3/7/2009

I stand by my 1 star rating. After reading several reviews, I cannot understand why nobody makes any mention of the disgusting, old bread that Genova uses. Granted, it's only the sourdough, so maybe you all are trying the Dutch Crunch and wheat rolls, but come on! And what's up with that guy, I think his name is Dave (tall & curly, salt & pepper haired guy), who always makes the offensive jokes. On my college graduation day I ordered some lasagna (actually decent) from them to serve at my celebration party, and Dave greets me with "Big deal, I graduated from college and look where I work." Some encouragement. Look, if you hate your life, don't take it out on me, or the rest of your customers.

point #1: I stand by my 1 star rating. Good for you - I would think you would have seen the error of your ways by now. 1-star for me would be like (in a whiny-girl voice) "i saw the fat guy spit in my food, and then he stuck his paw in it and licked it to make sure the taste was good for him, and then asked me if he could lick me like that too, so i didn't tip," kinda stuff. not really "Big deal, I graduated from college and look where I work" kinda stuff. And you're not cool with my buddy "the large salt-n-pepper guy with quick-witted old-guy jokes."

Some encouragement. Look, if you hate your life, don't take it out on me, or the rest of your customers.
Yeaaa - Call me a psych-major, but I think you're projecting now. Maybe you need to frequent one-a-those no-personality places that quietly and efficiently makes a sandwich for you (on your ordinary, non-stale please, bread) that inspires you to write even more lame-o white bread reviews! Man, you're a wuss (but at least not a dog).

1-star yelp entry #3:

David R. - Berkeley, CA - 2 star rating - 12/21/2008 (okay, so its a 2-star rating)

Overrated & mediocre sandwiches. This place is designed for the masses that have simply never had an authentic Italian deli sandwich. This is a first-class duping of the typically unaware. Sour dough bread and shredded iceberg lettuce says it all. Stupid long line, pre-sliced meat and dutch crunch bread (!!!!) They wouldn't last a week in New York City.

So after my experience in Rome/Vatican City, I guess I'm one of the typically unaware, huh, O Great Italian Sandwich Master. geez. You sure you're not from San Fran'snob'sco or somethin'? And I thought you were from Berkeley. I guess I should peruse your YELP review list and find the NYC sandwich place that makes you clutch your bosom, and then fly there and eat that shit, huh. Geez man, its about context, and you're out of it! Yea, and some hole-in-the-wall place that's reviewed in Zagats or New Yorker is not designed for the masses, is it, mass-hole! You should live in the moment, in the place you're at, and stop wishing you could live back in snob-town where you used to. Actually, maybe you'd move back there and stop making the line at Genova's longer. Bitch.

---

So you see now, why 1. I don't trust people on Yelp, and 2. why I don't write these very often. I guess I should stick with sports and VWs. I guess I feel like defending places that feel like family to me, and any place that makes me a good sandwich, and then makes me happy to be there, is like family. Just ask my mommy -

- Laffy

B.I.L.O. 4/03

david9 on thesamba.com posts these images of a sweet 1950 vw in florida, complete with split rear window, and cool wheels. I like. I like very very much! and with that paint, i think i would drive that everyday, all day! shopping cart dents be damned! AAAAA!

It will be my birthday 3/15

I look out the window to see the purple pink lavender sky,
and i see the sunset on the year i was 29 (years old)
my 30th year on earth
my twenties if you will

and i think to myself
what a wonderful world
what a wonderful life
that's a movie
i know
my favorite

here at work
sports radio
and as the station and the sports world buzzes around me

puerto rico plays world baseball against the united states
and is winning

the san jose sharks play hockey against los angeles

the espn radio feed pours out stats and results from the college basketball playoff tournaments

and i think of all the times when i was 10
thinking and hoping and wishing i was older
to be able to solve all the mysteries of sports and life

now twenty or so years later
i find that the more I live
the more mysteries there are
and the more I have to work on

learning about myself over time
is about learning about the 5 good things i have going for me
and the 15 things that i need to improve on

but alot has gone right for me over this time
i have found a nice place to live my life in
a nice place in the world

i know where i've been
and i'm learning more about where i want to go

seen some things improve
i can write my thoughts
and they go all over the world
on this here
ive made friends all over the world
seen parts of the world
and learned that us humans share alot of the same things

remembering back to middle school and high school
and although i've distanced myself from both
both in time and lifestyle
i've realized that all the anxieties that i once had
have become more manageable ones
and alot of the uncertainties that i had
have become real life solutions
that i dont have to worry about as much anymore

through it all
ive seen how alot of who i was as a kid
has not changed

i dont like doing what i dont like
until i try something new and realize that i like it

i really love who and what i love
and dont go out of my way to hurt anyone

i dont really hang out with one certain type or group
i like mixing and matching
and creating my own style

i dont really like deciding on things
and i take a long time to make choices

i get along okay when i sit down and think about how i want to do something
and although i like to listen to advice
i dont always need it or take it

i love collecting things
bits of objects and information
but somewhere along the line
i learned to forget to line them up in order
and now i cant remember where i put some of them
or when or where i got them from

i can think of more
but it doesn't come out too easily
i guess it will take a while longer
and that's why i'm still here

well, one of the reasons why

Bug 'O the Day

Tonight's Bug of the Day -

I guess it beats calling it a "B.I.L.O" - Bug I'd Like to Own.

a VW Bug-MILF.

hmm - BILO doesn't sound too bad either.

Maybe tomorrow, for the next Bug 'o the day.

This one, found in the photo Gallery section of thesamba.com, posted by someone named "Primo Beer."

I have no details, but I like the way it looks - big wheel in back, no body mods, but big-wing spoiler.

Looks fast, like zero-to-sixty in 12 seconds, instead of 12 minutes. I think I timed my bug, a '71 super beetle, from a complete stop at the metering-lights to the Bay Bridge, to around 60, and I think it was about 20-30 seconds. I wasn't pushing it, but when you merge into the bus lane, and the Golden Gate Transit is coming through w/o having to stop for toll, that's motivation!

A-Rod feels Guilty today

Poor Alex Rodriguez.

They say that "Chicks dig the Longball", and A-Rod, fueled by this notion, admitted that he did what he had to do to hit those balls a long way.

Yes, he admits to taking steroids, between 2001 and 2003, but with a lot of little excuses, like that he was "young and stupid" (he was 25), that he and his cousin got it over the counter in the Dominican Republic, and that it was "amateur hour," because he didn't even know if they worked.

That's pretty funny stuff, you know. I cheated on a test in 6th Grade, when I forgot that it was coming up that day. I guess I was also "young and stupid" (I was 11), that my cousin (my buddy John K.) helped me cheat, that we got the answers over the counter/desk between us, and that it was "amateur hour" because we didn't even know if it worked (all the answers were probably wrong).

But I did it, because I didn't have a prayer, and it was math or something that you couldn't BS through. A-Rod was gonna get his bombs, whether it was 35-40 of 'em in the dry Texas heat, or 52-57 of 'em (see 2001-2, for the disputed Homer totals), apparently helped by some Tic-Tacs (his description of the pills) he got back home. Geez, if only I had Tic-Tacs that day in 6th grade...

So in honor of the "great" press-conference that A-Rod held the other day, we unveil our Laffy Productions "How are you feeling today, A-Rod" poster, available 8"x10", framed, or on a t-shirt, 100% cotton, because wearing and washing it will make it shrink, just like A-Rod apparently did after 2003 (and what some other of his bodyparts may have done during 2001-3). Rimshot here...

Hat O' The Day, 02/07

The picture at right is of Chief Myers, catcher for the 1911 NL Champion New York Giants. Today's hat is a replica of the one that he wears proudly, just as you see it there, a black had with white bill.

Why the crazy black and white uniforms? John McGraw, the Giants manager at the time, was really into showing-off. He had these uniforms created just for the World Series, to make his team look classy and tough. Actually, he had them made for the 1905 World Series, against the Philadelphia (now Oakland) Athletics, and they whipped them soundly. The 1911 World Series was a rematch, and the Giants brought back their special B&W jerseys for the occasion, and were soundly beaten by the A's. Oh well, they had it coming. Who makes World Series jerseys and gets away with it, anyway?

Apparently, and by way of this story, they don't make this hat anymore.
Not that I went to an auction house and got an original hat for a pricey sum (reminds me of the auction scene from North by Northwest- see 3:00 into the clip below, which doesn't do it justice, but it reminds me none the less, and goddamn, that woman gave me the creeps!).

Today's hat comes to me by way of the Oakland A's, for TWO whole bucks.

Yea, its a Giants hat, too.

I got it at the 2005 A's Year-end Coliseum Store Tent Clearance Sale. It was sitting alongside some Colorado Rockies hats, and a sweet Montreal Expos hat, which I knew would be rare, because they moved to Washington that year, but it was too small.

A blank, Black and White, size 7 3/4 (relatively huge for most), cap. I only knew it was a Giants cap because the nice tag that said "$2" had some details on the other side.

I guess maybe I felt in a Giants mood because of the KNBR fanfest, which I avoid because of the crowds. Maybe its because its in line with my fetish of getting unrecognizable hats for teams I like just so that I'm wearing something different from everyone else.

I wore it out today to the Oakland Farmers' Market before going into work (got some nice flavored almonds, a 10 lb bag of organic oranges, and some awesome Andy & Cindy's Thai Cuisine fish in a homemade leaf-wrapper, among others). It made me feel like a King, while spotting a guy with a "Notre Dame Soccer" cap. Maybe he was a nice guy, but I didn't get to ask. Just combining the 'Irish with a soccer team cap is asking for the Douche'Cap nomination. Sorry dude, whoever you are. Please don't track down my address and take my cool non-logo Giants cap. Maybe we can talk about caps over lunch sometime, and I'll buy. We'll talk about Touchdown Jesus, and the Golden Dome, and all will be forgotten... boy, are you a D-Bag!

Now without further ado,
the trailer to North By Northwest,
why?
Because it reminded me of getting my hat really cheap.

thanks for your patience,

Laffy

A New Beginning

So its been a while, friends.

A while ago (sometime between the 2008 MLB All-Star Game and now, according to my blog), I kept hearing this song (click on the player below) in my head, which is a pretty darn good song, and I knew that I had heard it in a movie somewhere along the line, but I couldn't remember where.

Turns out, its the end-credits to the hockey movie Miracle, with Kurt Russell as Coach Herb Brooks of the 1980 USA Olympic Hockey team.



This video is great, and credit some guy/woman called "chamilton268" with that one, but its not the end credits to the film. I guess I'll have to post what I saw, so that you can see what I like about it; the music, along with the credits for the actors, and what the real players went on to do with their lives after their hockey days. Then a nice dedication to the real Coach Brooks, who passed away before the film came out, but who did go and talk with the actors while they were filming. That was a nice touch.

Anyway, that got me to thinking about what I want to do with my life (too deep to go into detail here), and then I wanted to start writing again. So I am. Please excuse the short first column, but if this were a media-covered event (a televised return to blog-posting?! what is this, the Truman Show?!) then I would cite that song revolving in my head as the starting point for my new way of life. Well, new ways of life, but I'm not getting into all that.

You know how a lot of people take their blog(s) and open 'em up to everyone, and spill their guts and messes in life for all to see, and then TMZ or some crazy media outlet gets a hold of it, and all of a sudden, Michael Phelps gets stoned and everyone knows?! Well, this one is not gonna be like that. I'm not even gonna link that guy's name to some TMZ site for the pix, because I'm gonna leave that guy alone. I swam a mile a few times before, and I didn't even like pot when I tried it a few times, so I know what that guy is going through. (NO, I did not laugh a bunch after hitting it, I can do that w/o that stuff - it just made me really sleepy, and then I had some kind of hangover the next day, I didn't like it)

But I did, however, change the name of this fine establishment from its previous title (Laffy's Once a Month Baseball Extravaganza), to the generic reincarnation title (Laffy's More-Often, Imagination-Driven, Drivel Pad), to its current signage.

Sure hope this isn't my last posting till the All Star Break...

Knockin' on wood,

Laffy

Our Benchwarmers, Thursday 7/10

So for our initial offerings for the Benchwarmer Fantasy League:

Thursday, 7/10:

Kurt Suzuki, Oakland Athletics / Rob Bowen, Oakland Athletics.



Suzuki, K. has been starting every day, and Rob Bowen started Thursday afternoon, as a day off for Kurt. So when Kurt Clutch hit a homer with 2 out in the 9th (pinch-hitting for Bowen), he not only re-earned his nickname, he came off the Bench to put the A's in extra innings. They eventually won on Emil Brown's sayonara homer in the 11th. The best parts about Brown's homer: the A's Mr. RBI from April has been struggling a little in the last month (6 rbis in June; down from 21 rbis in April), but his gamewinner was a revalation! The other best part is the team-wide jumping celebration, which takes place after each one of these, 7 so far this year in Oakland. Check the video!

some things on my mind, real quick-like, and w/o pics, so there

I haven't been keeping up with you, my friend (I think I'm talking to my blog here, but you're welcome to join).

I have just been witnessing the first half of the 2008 MLB season. Its been really exciting so far, with the usual mix of chills and thrills. Fantasy baseball on yahoo's been belly-belly good to me, as well as the A's (both above .500, which is the biggest surprise to me).

Although the pundits (that always makes 'em sound critical and negative, which I like) think the A's are ready to "even-out" and start losing a bunch to get to "where they're supposed to be" this year, with young-young pitching and no-no hitting, I like to think the little volkswagen-of-a-team-that-could will make strides to stay afloat. not playoff-afloat, but above .500-afloat, which is relatively okay.

That non-committal phrase (relatively okay?) is there because when you listen and watch everyday, .500 means just that, winning a day, losing a day, or maybe 2-in-a-row, then back again. Baseball is all about streaking. Well, not Will-Ferrell-in-Old-School, "Come-on-everybody!" kinda-streaking, but the win 2-out-of-3 in a series, 7-outta-10, 20-for-the-month kinda-streaking.

They say that every team wins a third of their games, playing 162, so 54 to be exact. Its the other third (the best teams rarely get above .667 - that would be 108 wins! crazy!) that everyone worries about. Its like presidential candidates wanting Iowa, or what they say that baseball managers say: "the problem is not getting guys to like you, because its not always possible. It's the keeping the 5 guys that don't like you away from the 5 guys that aren't decided." That may have been a Casey Stengel, but then it would have been said a lot better. That one was probably either Earl Weaver, or Tommy Lasorda...

So yea, I don't remember the A's winning a bunch in a row, but I do remember the times they beat up on some teams. Without totally cheating, and looking at the W-L schedule, I think they swept some interleague series. I don't like sounding uneducated, but I was never good at remembering specific games or times.

I remember they swept the Giants in San Fran. That was a good feeling, but I couldn't get into listening to the Giants broadcasters (who I work for/with) calling the A's games. It was so foreign-sounding, like they didn't know who my guys were.

I love the Giants radio guys, and how they sound, and what they say, and how they joke around all the time. I like 'em all a lot more than Ken Korach and Vince Controneo, but I guess that's because I like the entertainment of it. Ken, Vince, and Ray Fosse are all my Broadcasters, with a capital B. that's because they bring me the team, which I neither work for, nor have a constant radio-station or media-0utlet for.

KNBR does the Giants games, Giants news, Giants interviews, Giants commentary. They even have a gross slogan: "Everything Giants." When they stink it up, the slogan doesn't sound so good anymore. The A's don't have that kind of let down (well, they have 100% baseball, but that's as generic and warm/fuzzy sounding as it gets, so its not so bad). But they also don't have an all-sports, omnipotent god of a radio station and network. Witness a craigslist.org posting for one of their desk-jockey jobs:

"KNBR – The Bay Area's Sports Leader is looking for a Promotions Coordinator. KNBR is one of the top sports talk radio stations in the country, and has a format monopoly in the Northern California region. If you believe you're the right person for this job, please follow the resume submission instructions at the end of this posting."

A format monopoly?! That's gross! Who writes that in when trying to get people to apply for a job? In Gary Radnich's immortal words, "Who does that? Who has time?!"

So, clearly, my own station, KNBR, is not giving me the scoop on my favorite team. The A's guys are the ones that get me my information on MY team. well, yea, if you know anything about me, you know that I wear my Detroit Tigers warmup shirt & polo proudly, and half-my-living-days I wear a Japanese Hanshin Tigers cap, so what the hell-kinda-A's-fan am I?

I'd like to think that if Magnum PI could wear a Detroit cap everyday (every single fuckin' day he wore that cap, authentic wool, in HAWAII of all places, and he didn't get bald?! my hero!) and not say a word about being a Tigers fan (which the actor Tom Selleck is, but not necessarily the character, apologies to all those loyal Magnum fans that heard him utter Tigers knowledge in season 5, etc.), then I think I should be alright, rooting for:
#1. the Oakland A's (by choice, marriage/relationship, gut-feeling, logical conclusion, admiration),

#2. the SF Giants (by birth, guilt, employ, and proximity),

#3. the Dee-troit Tigers (in 2003 almost losing the most games in MLB history,
Ivan Pudge Rodriguez single-handedly mauling the Giants in the 2003 playoffs and then signing-on with Detroit, promising the fans a championship, and then doing it in 2006,
and Magnum PI inspiration. The Tigers are also the first team that I found that wins when I root for them. Sure that kind of reasoning is fickle at best, and subjective as hell, but when I was watching and rooting, they hit walk-off sayonara homers, which made me feel l might not be jinxed after all.

I love the Detroit Tigers. That's because in 2003 (if that sentence was a crap-ful for you), the team was one loss (119) away from tying the most losses for a team in the 162 game schedule to end the season (the 1962 Mets, who were an new expansion team that year). They had no where to go but up, and that's an old old proud team. They've won World Championships with Ty Cobb (1900's, I could try to remember, or even look it up, but that'd be cheating), Hank Greenberg, the first Jewish American star (1935), and Hal Newhouser (Announcer Hank Greenwald's childhood favorite, 1945). I read up on the team, looked at their players (especially when Pudge came over from Florida), and decided that they were worth rooting for, if only to get back to .500 after losing 119 games (43 wins, .265 winning percentage!). They failed in 2004 and 2005, even though in 2004 they had a streak of 3 or 4 straight games winning on a sayonara-walkoff homer (that was the best streak I've ever seen, and I was subscribed to MLB.com at the time, so I watched 2 or 3 of those 4 games). Then in 2006, they picked up a few new faces, and went all the way to the World Series. I was blown-away because I was just hoping that they would finally get to .500. That year they were the best in the league (okay, they Were, but got knocked-out of 1st place on the last day by they Twins. They had the best record in the MLB at some points, but settled for wild-card winner). Then they beatup on the Yankees, and then met up with the A's of Oakland (who I was rooting for daily).

It was a tense time for me, as a fan and an Oakland-dweller. We watched the A's of Swisher, Haren, Kotsay, Street, Thomas, Bradley, Kendall, and Scutaro play every day. Turned on the radio and left it on at home, for luck. Watched games at brew-pubs on the big-screen (we rushed over there the night they clinched their division, and then listening to the post-game on the way home, heard Swish yell "I'ma go get fucked up!" on the air, off mic, after his interview. That was the best, from a personal and professional standpoint. Haha.

So the Tiggs beatup on the Yanks, and the A's beat the Twins in 3 straight. I went to the clincher, and saw the Anthem military flyover, a big loud slow cargo plane instead of a jet, I think in the spirit of big loud slow Frank Thomas. I watched Scutaro drive in 2 with a shot to the rightfield corner, ending in his knees-bent "I'm safe at second, what just happened?" pose. I'd been a fan of Marco Scutaro's since I saw him win a few games on his own (game-winner double off the wall against the Yanks, opening night in the drizzle, Gamewinning single into centerfield against the crazy 5-infielder defense against the Angels in September, etc.). This series was the culmination of his contributions to the team and his fans. Clutch as always, and them some. The epitome of the little guy coming up big for the little A's.

So as the A's were set to play the Tigers, all of my fan-friends accused me of 1. wanting this matchup, and 2. not caring if the A's lost in this series. This was totally not fair. I would much rather see the A's go all the way to the World Series, but knowing the A's, the little volkswagens of the league, I wasn't sure they could do it. And the series went badly, the A's played burnt-out and tired-looking, couldn't hit, gave up big homers to little-known to everyone else sluggers (Marcus Thames, Craig Monroe had a crazy series-of-his-life series, and Alexis Gomez killed the A's in game 2 (Okay Okay, so I didn't even know who the hell Alexis Gomez was)). The end of the A's season came in sweep-city game 4, 10/14/2006.

I was late to the brew-pub, getting my car (my volkswagen bug, dammit, why won't you believe that I'm an A's fan for real?!) from the shop, and got there just in time to order some eats, watch the A's relievers struggle to keep the lead/tie (okay, so I do have to peek at the boxscore a little, but I do remember that Kiko Calero was the most lights-out he'd ever been in that year), and then Street, trying for a 3 (3!, that's just stupid!) inning save, give up the game-winning, walkoff, sayonara, 3-run homer to long-haired (that everyone hates but me- he says he does it because it makes his face look less round, and I agree), fist-raised, Magglio Ordonez. He who beat my boy Ichiro for the Batting title. He who went to Vienna to get his knee fixed because he wanted the best. He who brought the team into prominence, to this day even.

So how could I be sad to see that? And how could I be happy the A's lost? I thought and still think that it was the best way for it to end. A sweep (meaning no chance), ended by the Samurai-tradition beheading. It was beautiful, and graceful, and it ended the suffering, and I was and still am okay with it.

I don't hear A's fans talk about that too much, but that's probably because 1. A's fans are the best at looking forward to the new youngsters and the future, 2. most of those guys on that 2006 team are gone, and 3. Detroit got their whatevers kicked-in and handed to them, and turned-away, and all those, in the World Series against the Cardinals. The fuckin' Cardinals?! the Fuckin' Cardinals?! you're fuckin' kiddin' me.

The Cardinals?! Pujols, of course. But of Rolen, Suppan, Carpenter, stupid little shortstop Eckstein (well, I would love him if he ever played on my team), young catcher Molina, barely beat the Mets (the fuckin' Mets?!) come-on, man, the Cardinals?! that's fuckin' disgusting. Won a game with Kenny Rogers on the mound, and then the next day the news was that he had dirt/pinetar on his hand. That just killed any momentum the Tiggs had, because they had to apologize for the dirt/pinetar (I still don't know what that was all about).

To have my year end that way, I think that was all my fellow A's fans come-up-ins on me. The Cardinals?! (now that I think about that, I don't think I'm over that one, still) The worst is when you see the commercials for the Sports Illustrated Special Bound-edition Big Fat Book of the Cardinals World Championship. The ffuckin' Cardinals?! okay, I'm really not over that one...

So to gracefully end myself, the first-half of 2008 has been great! All the chills and Thrills. The A's make me proud, and now you know how I became a Tigers fan. So the next time you see me in my Detroit warmup jacket, you know where I'm coming from. From the Lake, in Oakland, baby. Yea, and the Hanshin Tigers cap to top it off, just to bust your chops for asking.
(oh yea, I wear the hat for luck - check the standings and believe!)

see ya -

JN

Spring is Upon Us!

I write to you today, Wednesday, February 13th, as a messenger from the "Life without MLB Baseball" times. February 14th, traditionally Valentine's Day in America, will be the day a lot of MLB teams declare their love for the game, and open their official Spring Training camps. The defending World Champion Boston Red Sox opened their pitchers-and-catchers sessions yesterday, to the fury of red shorts and long red socks. As absurd as this looks, in reality, it was 73 degrees and 59 % humidity in Fort Myers, Florida, and its okay, because at least they aren't as absurd looking as warming up for other sports (see example, right ->).
There is a meditative aura that surrounds a game of catch. I don't mean to put soccer down, because if I were born anywhere else in the world, I would probably be a big soccer fan, just as if I were born in LA, I would definitely be a Dodger fan, but I don't have a better calming sound in mind than "snap, swish, pow, swish, snap, swish." Multiply the snapping by a few dozen, and you have the first days of Spring, and a few dozen more temp-jobs for catchers Major League level and beyond.
More on the camps soon, especially because its now been a year since I escaped to Arizona, and had my own baseball mecca experience.
So for now, be prepared; the new year is here, and those who follow this calendar have something to celebrate once again.

Awakening Monday Morning for Anti-Commerce's sake

Is it just me to notice, or is Oakland a Parking-Violation-Funded city?

Is "the Town" full of renters who pay for parking by not moving on street-sweeping mornings?

Wherever I go to live in the area, I never see very many people moving their cars in the morning, panicked faces twisted at the thought of paying 40 to 50 clams for an oyster of a parking spot every other week.

I believe that these people either have:

A. furiously researched and would rather pay the $50-$100/a month to park where they wish, instead of the $80-$1000 it costs to park a month in the San Francisco-Oakland Metropolitan Area;

B. deals worked out with the "Frank H. Ogawa Plaza" crowd for refunds on their violation fees,

C. deals worked out with the same "Ogawa Plaza" parking czars for cash & prizes / rewards / services to park in purposely bad places, possibly for the purpose of enticing other upstanding citizens (myself included) to park in equally-costly spots, and therefore owe the city the $50 or more for the privilege;

D. are on the plan my buddy had, which was park anywhere the hell you want to, until one day a few years and a few towns later, your car gets a big yellow tire-slipper, with a note that says "do not remove - this means you" on it.

My buddy's left the country to live abroad permanently because he didn't like the rules, but otherwise, there must be reasons why I don't see people furiously running around at 9am on the morning of the second or fourth Monday of the month, circling the block repeatedly, looking for a non-temporarily-illegal parking spot.

I forcibly woke myself from my peaceful slumber, after working into the wee hours the night before, deftly dodging the drunken-smoking-wino from the half-and-half house across the street, to move my car a total of 50 feet, minus the hundred-fifty yards of U-turns, just to dodge a $50 privilege-to-park-there-today-for-three-hours-fee, and I have to double-check my calendar to make sure that I'm not the daffy one, and today really is the one-two-three-fourth Monday of this first month of 2008.

I guess some just have more than meet the eye. I wish I could leave my car in the same place as I wine-and-fly my way to my own Bahamas resort or Tuscan villa, where my winery, parking lot, and garbage-collection interests boost my financial portfolio's total value to the "strong-to-quite strong" income bracket.

But instead, I rent, it's the end of the month, my credit cards get up and walk around on their own, and oh yea, I rent.

I long for the day when I count the week in 3-day groupings called "series", and my only dread is the horrors of braving the post-visiting RedSox game-crowds on BART. Anyone know where they'll be 3am on March 25th? Thanks Bud Selig for once again finding a way to screw the loyal fans; the parking commissioner of my baseball-related world.

9:38 am. 4th Monday of the Month. This side of the street still full. Minus one.

JN / LT

NEWSFLASH - the A's are about team!

you're on the a's sigh-line,
lets take the next caller...

I know I know,
i felt sick when i found the article on sfgate.com -
it was a few minutes after it was announced (4p thursday),
and i had to eat after that, because my stomach dropped and i felt nauseous.
the same thing happened to me when haren was traded earlier this off-season,
but that time it was being rumored for a long time coming,
whereas this was out of nowhere,
the throw-up uppercut that is, the face of your team being traded.
i think i should stay away from the online sf chronicle -
this keeps happening to me,
and read more oakland trib. online-
i'm sure i'd feel better about my a's and my bowels...

so how do i feel about it now,
after a day to digest?

1. swisher is the face of the company, or was, so this hurts alot.

2. swisher himself was trying not to hurt,
saying he was happy and probably a little proud that another team wanted him so badly.

3. the inverse of that is that the a's didn't want him as much,
or enough to keep him, meaning

4. the a's are all about teamwork and team-results.
No one, even a great guy like the Swish,
is big enough to fight the league off himself,
and as sad as it is when a popular piece gets traded away,

5. it's gonna be great in 2-4 years,
when someone hits a homer, or strikes someone out,
we'll be saying "yup, we got that guy in the haren/swisher trade!
the way we were proud of haren, calero,
or daric barton just coming up now,
all traded for mark mulder back a thousand A's years ago, and

6. in the beane way,
the mulder trade will have resulted in
3+6=9 great players when the new guys pan out.

that's like saying you traded an old half-broken ferrari
for a new porsche and a new hybrid,
and then traded the porsche after 2 yrs
for a new hybrid suv, a wind-powered glider,
a new-school schoolbus,
a flying flame-throwing hybrid autogyro helicopter,
a wind-turbine for making your own electricity,
five shares in microsoft b-level stock options,
and the keys to your own isthmus/land-bridge/atoll, i think.
that's a hell of a deal, even if you're a mac user.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that,
no matter how bad it looks on the surface,
beane is looking out for the team.
one known quantity,
for tons and tons of potential,
the Giants do the opposite all the time,
and that's why Ray Durham still has a job
(which isn't a good thing
for anything but Mrs. Durham).

i should know,
being raised on the wrong side of the bay.

i got to see the best player of his era (w/ or w/o the 'roids),
some times playing alongside a worldseries contender team,
and some times playing alongside my 12-yr-old little league teammates,
and in both situations, he was promoted as a one-man-show.

in actuality, bonds was 'just one of the guys' when they were winning,
because he always bats 3rd, 4th, or 5th,
not all three at once.
the beauty of baseball is that no matter how good someone is,
there's still 8 other guys to hit the ball to,
8 other guys up to hit in any given situation,
that everyone gets a turn,
that you just can't give it to the hot hand (basketball),
or the hot receiver (football),
or keep the ball yourself (both sports),
but that you HAVE to share,
and that everyone has to put up for your team to get going,
which is the direction the A's are going.

They're trading one star to get 3-6 real potentials.
They did that with Mulder,
and Barton looks like he could be the real deal,
in addition to pretty good 2006 Calero,
and Ace Haren himself, from 2006-7
which is how it should be.
because,

we'll grow to love the new guys -
swisher was a new guy once.
so was mulder, hudson, giambi, tejada, mcgwire, all of 'em.
that's the beauty of baseball.
its older than all of us, and it will keep going,
because it's the best, it transcends time;
the game has no clock.
the game draws you in because it looks simple,
and then it gets more and more complex
until we're looking at the political and practical implications of trading off a long-haired laughing ball of energy from west virginia by way of ohio state.

so although the Oakland Athletics Baseball Club doesn't look like a worthwhile investment of your entertainment dollars,
they are!

i think it is going to be worth
going out to the ol' coleslaw-asee-um
!because!
its the repeat of the giants moving out of candlestick!

there were always tickets at the 'stick,
$10 bleacher, cheap eats, dumpy seats,
easy to sneak down to,
great players and great views,
always there the day of the game -
"wanna go see the cardinals?" you ask a friend
"yea! Mcgwire for BP!" they say,
and two to ten seats
just as easy as the drive down there,
3 hours of fun,
barry and kent and joe carter that one year,
and then they moved,
and they "arrived"
in the san francisco cosmopolitan hipster nightlife cool-to-be-there crowd...

now pacbell/att/overpriced park,
*no batting practice viewing,
because they don't open that early.
*tickets, ya got 'em?
only if they're below .500 in August or September.
*beer? $8.00 for Bud Light. 'dogs? open your bank account.
one time a buddy of mine bought us dogs and beers,
I think he had to work the next week to pay that one off.
and then the worst part!
*fans? not anyone you remember from the last park -
you think they'll keep a section of the bleachers open for the drummer boyz?
not if they're working on making a profit instead.
*cheering?
a friend of mine has funny stories of little-ol'-ladies shushing their friends for cheering too loudly.
another friend of mine has horror stories of being subject to ejection from the park for cheering too loudly.
at Candlestick or the Coliseum?
you get horror stories from wearing the other team's jersey!

we should go and enjoy easy seats and cheap eats while we can!
we should enjoy the days of sitting all together and
shoving each other when we make snide remarks
or throw things at redsox fans and then have to hide,
because one ticket for upper deck
and a separate one for your buddy to sit in the bleachers
and then your friend was late and got standing-room-only
all for the same high-high price?!
that's not a fun place to be.
sniff.
i've already been through it once.
it will never be as fun as it is right now.
the present.
the glory days of oakland bleacher-dom.
please, join me and bask in this sunlight while we still can...


Swisher gone is sad,
it hurts my stomach,
and makes me wish for the glory days we all had,
rooting for the Western-Division Champion Oakland Athletics.
but Mr. Beane was already looking past that,
that was the victory for him,
and he was already planning the victories to come.
we were basking, he was haggling.
i'm pretty damn proud to have him as our general manager,
who else slays the dragons that are other teams' farm systems?
who else can clean other teams' houses and laugh all the way home?
he's brought us so many greats that we were and still are proud of,
more than any giant fan or even yankee or redsox fan can claim.
just because he has to let them go,
who can say that they've been at the same job for five years lately?
who's been at the same job even ten years?
and all of us have a parent that has/had been at the same job for
ten, twenty, even thirty years?!
times are changing, and so are sports times.
players that play their whole careers with one team are so rare now,
and its definitely not because they're not good enough to.
alot of my buddies wonder why i like the a's, and then the tigers, and then the japanese tigers-
try to stick with just one team,
and i bet your stomach hurts alot more often than mine.

thanks for being such a good fan,
that you rub your tummy as you read
and wish for better baseball days ahead.

JN / LT

hall of fame, yuck!

So I didn't write about my thanksgiving.
It was great,
went to Las Vegas,
then to the OC,
where turkey stuffed with pork beats turducken in my book.

Didn't write about the recent games.
didn't write about the upsetting loss
that was Big Game 2007,
Stanford over Cal, 20-13.

Whenever Cal is favored by 2 or more touchdowns,
and its a "sure thing",
then guaranteed:
1. They won't score as much as they should
2. one of their big players (DeSean Jackson this time) will be hurt
3. they'll barely be in it
4. things will look bright for a win, until
5. Nate Longshore will throw an interception with 2 mins. left
and then 6. Cal fans will be hurting all the way home.

the story of the 2007 Cal football team.
I blame the hippies in the trees of Memorial Stadium.
no team can win
when silly hippies occupy the trees outside their stadium.
well, then I should also blame the Cal organization and university,
because who goes out of their way
to not incorporate a few trees
that are a hundred yrs old, thousand yrs old,
and who lets crazy hippies sit in the trees for a year,
(the protest's 1 yr anniversary was last night)
during football season anyway?!?!


that's real bad karma and luck and such,
and so how was Cal supposed to keep their #2 ranking anyway-
oh well,
they will make the Armed Forces Bowl,
and they'll play the Coast Guard or someone,
and be favored by 20-something points,
and one of their big-guys will get hurt in practice,
and then things won't look too bad,
until Longshore throws a pick with 2 minutes left,
and they'll lose.
so sadly,
I'll have to take the National Guard team over the Golden Bears,
especially if the line is 12 or more.

So on to the main event -
another one of my arguements about the
BASEBALL HALL OF FAME
and why it sucks!

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- Five managers and executives were elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame on Monday under revamped rules that created separate Veterans Committee ballots.

World Series-winning managers Billy Southworth and Dick Williams will be joined in the Class of 2008 on July 27 at Cooperstown, N.Y., by former Commissioner Bowie Kuhn and owners Walter O'Malley and Barney Dreyfuss.

Williams, who won the World Series in Oakland and pennants with Boston and San Diego, and Southworth, who won the Series twice with St. Louis, were on a ballot of 10 that combined umpires and managers and included former managers Whitey Herzog, Davey Johnson, Billy Martin and Gene Mauch, plus umpire Doug Harvey.

So they elected a few old guys -
why don't they ever elect the right guys?!
Walter O'Malley moved the Dodgers from the heart of New York, in Brooklyn,
to make tons of cash in Los Angeles, in 1958,
when the western-most team was in Kansas City.
He moved for selfish personal and financial reasons,
leaving a legacy of groveling fans
and a Hollywood-embraced team.
If that's not selling-out, I don't know what is.
He also forced out/bought out Branch Rickey,
who signed Jackie Robinson to a Dodgers contract in 1945,
and integrated Major League Baseball.
So he forced out baseball Gandhi, and made MLB on FOX possible,
that's not right for so many reasons.
Why does he get to be in the hallowed Hall?
Because he expanded the league to the West Coast?
couldn't they just have created the LA Angels a few years earlier?

Then they vote in Bowie Kuhn,
maybe on the sentiment that he just passed away this year (on my birthday!),
and what did he ever do?
argue with Curt Flood about free agency?
and then not go see Hank Aaron break Babe Ruth's Homer record,
because he had something to do in Cleveland?
and then put players on trial during the 1983 season for drug-use,
and not steroids but cocaine?
So he soiled the game thrice,
and three strikes, you're out, right?!
so why does he make the Hall?

and Dick Willams was a damn good manager,
but what about Billy Martin?!
he took the Yankees to the World Series a few times,
while fighting the wrath of Steinbrenner -
that's pretty good too.
and its the Hall of FAME, right?
Billy Martin is more famous than every guy elected today combined!
Who the hell is Barney Dreyfuss anyway?
why do owners who no one knows get into the Hall of Fame?!

I guess Bud Selig will get in the Hall of Fame someday too, huh.
He did everything these guys did-
he was an owner that nobody knew or cared about,
He let the league go on strike and skip a World Series,
he didn't go see Barry Bonds break Hank Aaron's Homer record,
because he had something to do in Cleveland (again? why always Cleveland?)
and then put players on trial during the season for drug-use,
So he soiled the game thrice -
GREAT -
let's put him in there today!
then I'll really not care about the stupid baseball Hall of Fame,
because baseball
especially Major League Baseball,
belongs to us,
the fans,
the people that pay outlandish prices
to sit on top of mountains called stands,
just to watch grown men
play a childrens game
and get paid like nobody's business to do it.

We own it.
We didn't vote on these jokers
(except Williams and Southworth, who were damn good managers)
because except for the managers,
who among us (not LA Dodger fans though)
would vote any of these guys into the Hall?!
I woulda voted Doug Harvey in most of all -
he made "You Make the Call" on TV possible.
Bud Selig just made MLB on Fox possible.
He should be put in the HALL OF LAME!
(okay, not my joke, but my sentiments, exactly!)

with love
from the Hall of eating and drinking (the Mess Hall),
Laffy

a new post to reacclimate you to my post

so I haven't been writing for a while.
I have been semi-passively observing
the MLB baseball season, and now its over.

i've gotten a few notes of confidence,
votes of confidence even,
that the public,
at least those in my vicinity,
want to hear from me.

so here I am.
here but for the grace of sportstalk radio, go I.

I gotta say,

1. i was getting pretty tired of being a baseball-only geek.
that's a lot best left for the geeky
locked-in-the-basement-writing-formulas-for-new-baseball-stats
kinda guys, which i don't think i am (anymore at least),

and 2.
i have been getting into the habit of looking forward to saturdays,
when college football brings me
to a different place in the sports fandom universe.
f--k the red sox in the American "Fever Pitch" movie,
based on the book
about being an English Soccer fan,
by Nick Hornby.
That honorable position should be given
to the fans of a college football team.
someplace honorable in the ncaa ftbl world,
like Alabama (the big red-also see Forrest Gump),
Ohio State (with the big 'O' guy as a mascot),
Penn State (with old as Joe-Pa, and the first cool 90's logo),
Auburn (to be fair to my boy P-Conn)
Texas (hook'em horns isn't known worldwide only cause of Geo.W)
and even the yankees of college football,
the Notre Dame fightin' irish.
i love how the host of a KNBR show,
who is the biggest ND fan on the air
(while being about the size of the leprechaun mascot)
got mad at me on the air,
when i spelled the name Norte Dame
for him on the caller computer.
that's how you say it, right?
Nor-ter Dah-m
or i guess Noh-ter Dah-mm
oh kay, so Notre Dame it is.
my bad, Fitz.

anyway, I guess i'll be writing more frequently now.
now that its the time of year
when typing keeps my brain warm.
also, how do you like this new psudo-format?
i got some positive feedback
when i emailed in the "prose" format
that i have comfortably created,
because i don't like punctuation
and all its technicalities.

if you find this format hard to read,
please email me with your formal complaint,
because getting the point across
is what communication is about.

also, i guess if i promise to write again,
like i did in the post entitled:
"my first post for june"
then i guess i won't for another 5 months.
so i'll end by telling you
that i won't write.
ever again.
then i'll write all the time,
unless anti-jinxing
becomes a jinx on its own.
this total thought process
is what it takes,
to be a true boston redsox fan,
which i'm not, because its too much work!

okay,
no more lingering good bye.
talk to you soon -

JN /LT

JUNE 1st post - weekend update!

So I went to Japan, which was great and which I wish to return to for future radio or sports employment. Working a convenience store there wouldn't be too bad either, but for now, I'm working semi-convenience store hours at the sports radio station, which beats my former hours, 6a to 2p on glorious weekend mornings.

Working evenings at sports radio gives me access/the privilege of cutting highlights from the weekends' games and events, which is what sports is all about.

Some notes:

The Giants blew a 4 run lead, and got beat by a little fly to left by the Phillies' Shane Victorino (whatta name!), who is a decent hitter, and has paid his dues being passed over in the minors. But this homer barely made it to the stands in Philly, barely made the flower pots they have separating the stands from the outfield fences. Good for him, but what a way to lose.

On the other hand, the A's beat the Twins on Saturday on a Joe Blanton shutout, all of an hour and 40-some minutes of a game. On Sunday, little Chad G0-Dan, the goatee-wearing, French-Canadian-heritaged righty from Louisiana (one of my favorites), beat Johan Santana, the little lefty from Venezuela (born exactly a day before me, was a lefty shortstop in his home country, another one of my faves) . Frail Bobby Crosby drives in a run when his broken bat flying at the Twins thirdbaseman "breaks up" a potential double play (his off-balance throw misses secondbase, and goes into right field). Good for him - its about time he's regaining his clutch RBI powers...

and finally, golf, which I never care about. KJ Choi beats out Tiger Woods, among others. He's been decent for a long time, so good for him. I hope some of you out there won bets on that one. What a longshot!

For Johnny Laughs Sunday night update, this is Johnny Long...

Recap Special-Editon: Tokyo- Saturday 5/12

Date: Saturday, 5/12/07
Time: 6p-10p
Place: Tokyo Meiji Jingu Stadium, north Tokyo, Japan
Game #: Yakult home #20/#38 total -JN #14 of 2007
Attendance: 37,000? (no exact figure, max is 37,933, and it was pretty damn full)
Those Present: JN, JN's mommy
The Players: The Tokyo Yakult Swallows, and the visiting Hanshin Tigers
Final Score: Tigers hold on for to 3-2 win.

update coming...

An Apology, a Welcome-back, and a Primer to the World of Hanshin Tigers Baseball

Firstly, I apologize to you who have been patiently waiting for Johnny Laugh's newest entries. I have been busy immersing myself in Japan and Japanese culture and language, to the point where I have been thinking in Japanese, which does you and me no good in this blog, since I don't write or read Japanese well, and you probably don't either.

That being said, I also had a few chances to immerse myself in Japanese baseball, between viewings of New York Yankee and Seattle Mariners baseball on Japanese TV (every single day, damn Yankees!). The funny thing is that their "Direct TV" is called "BS", Broadcast Satellite, so we were watching BS-1 and BS-3 everyday, a funny thing to yell in English.

***

Alot has been said about how the Hanshin Tigers of Japan's Central (National) League are the Boston Red Sox of Japan. They are good, but only so good, taking the Japan Series in 1985 after a long hiatus and backseat to the Tokyo Yomiuri Giants (the Japanese Yankees), and then not reappearing there until 2003 (and losing in the series then).

Their futility (many credit a curse started when happy fans threw a KFC Colonel Sanders statue into the local river in celebration in 1985) is noteworthy, and as a bigger-payrolled and more historical team (since 1935, proclaims the logo), makes them a target for Red Sox-esque failure-complex.

Also paralleled to American ball is their rabid #1 in Japan fanbase versus the old-guard by-default-type Tokyo Giants fans (think smug Yankee fans, and then loud/obnoxious Red Sox fans at whatever stadium you've been to), and their yearly, three-week, built-in road trip (when they vacate their sacred Koshien Stadium in Osaka for the national high-school baseball tournament - think March Madness, in one stadium).

All this, and from America, my mom and I have been patiently watching, thinking that the fans and the happy-go-lucky team have been A. Obnoxious, and B. Curious.

What makes these fans so so loud and crazy? Other teams have an organized fan-cheering section, and since the country is small (the size of the state of California), most teams cheering sections travel to road games (Tokyo as San Francisco, and Osaka as LA, in geographic terms), but the Tigers fans are the loudest, the most numerous, and the loudest (really).

We took a few trains to Meiji Jingu Stadium, in northeast Tokyo, to find out. Luckily, our good local friend and host got us some prime "Tigers' Corner" bleacher seats, 2nd row! and we were in the epicenter for the earthquake that is Tigers Baseball Fandom...

UPDATED- Brady Quinn & gripes about drafts on the tele-

Brady Quinn, formerly of the Notre Dame Irish, who, after spending 21 picks crying in the back room of the Radio City Music Hall, is picked at #22 by the Cleveland Browns. ESPN tells us with pictures, that Brady was a Cleveland fan as a kid. Thanks, for the knowledge, guys...

Oh yea, Tim Couch was supposed to be good too.

*****

A Follow-up and anal-lysis:

I think what appalled me about this media-mediated event was the extreme close-ups (XCUs) of Mr. Brady Quinn, who did not get picked for the first 20 picks. They made him a golden boy, predicted his being drafted in the first few picks, then tore him down right before our eyes, as they showed MORE XCUs of him half-tearing up, nervously chatting with his girlfriend, they put her name on the screen, and then finally narrated and showed his departing to a "non-media-accessible" back room, to wait for his being drafted, finally, at pick 21, some 2 hours later. This is what happens when a non-sports event is televised as sports. Maybe the MLB WAS right in not making their draft a big deal. Then again, baseball can't make a big deal picking players out of school when they'll have to navigate the slippery slopes of the minor leagues first, and 1st round picks disappear a few years down the road a lot of the time anyway.

Remember- Ty Griffin, Cubs 1st round pick in 1988? probably not, although he was an Olympic silver medalist with the 88 Seoul USA team. What about Kurt Ainsworth? 98 Olympics to 1999 #1 pick SF Giants (24th overall), to traded to the BAL Orioles (July 31, 2003: Traded by SF with Ryan Hannaman (who?) and Damian Moss (the no-control, crazy-sideburns, dto the Baltimore Orioles for Sidney Ponson). Another wasted talent by the Giants...

Another piece of Baseball "knowledge": Marvin Benard, the least-likely hyped draft pick: 50th Round! by the Giants in '92 (50x26 teams at the time= he was about the 1300th! pick overall, and at a tiny 5'10", he played a total of 8 yrs in the hallowed majors. This is why I can never rag on him, no matter what anyone else says. He stole home once in 1995, and he stands for all of us, who love baseball and always wanted to play, but for lack of talent or size...

Silver Screen Blues

Going to sleep before my morning shift, I get looney.

Last night's featured idea: Great sequels never made, such as:

Forrest Gump II: Forrest raises little Forrest, and one day decides to run to an island, where he finds it is deserted, and little Forrest has to find him, with the help of dead people that only he can see.

Memorable lines include:

Tom Hanks: "But Lil' Forr'st, I don' see a-ny pee-pole ova he're."

Haley Joel Osment: "But dad, I see them. (whispers) I see dead islanders."

The Natural II: Roy Hobbs son grows up to become a Major Leaguer, under his father's tutelage. He ends up getting shot by ex-sportswriter Max Mercy, who has been blacklisted for selling steroids to ballplayers, because Roy Jr. won't take them. Roy senior ends the film by hitting a used syringe into the ocean.

Memorable lines include:

Robert Duvall: "But kid, what you don't understand is that your pops was juiced. The Whammer was juiced. You don't make the headlines if you don't take the strong stuff."

Roy Jr.: "Sir, my father may have been a philanderer, but he was certainly not a cheater. Now get out of my dugout before I tell Pop Junior."

and also:

Clubhouse Guy: "Nine, ya got me. I think that's permanently taken, but Ninety-nine. Now that's a number!"


I guess its not that funny unless you've seen the first films multiple times...

Stay tuned to Im-Dib TV for more potential screen-breakers, coming soon to a Straight-to-video near you!

ABOUT ME

Saturday, 4/28/2007

San Francisco-
I'm working the morning shift out of KNBR, 1050 AM.

I realize that you haven't heard a peep out of me since my writing explosion last last Wednesday.

So I want to give you the snippets that make working here very, uh, great!

NFL Draft:
After jibbering and jabbering on Fox Sports Radio, who's taking (rival network) ESPN's audio of the NFL commissioner, the Oakland Raiders anti-climactically picked JaMarcus Russell, big-guy QB from Louisianna State. Denny Green exclaimed something about "Crowning" him, in his raspy hoarse-call.

The 49ers picked an LB from Old Miss, which was probably a good pick, because I've never heard of him. We wondered whether Ralph told him "Go Sharks!" on the phone.

The ESPN talking heads were pretty convinced about Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn going top-3. When he didn't, Chris Berman said "this is the first curveball of this draft." I wasn't listening, but I think he said that every time Quinn wasn't drafted, which, at Green Bay's #16 pick, still hasn't happened.

A sad sidenote, GreenBay picked a Defensive Tackle with their first pick. I don't know who he is, and at #16 overall, alot of people don't know him, but they show a crowd shot of little kids boo-ing the pick with their dads.

How can you boo your team's draftpick?! He hasn't played or even put on the team's uniform yet. What has he done, except for not been hyped enough, to get booed before even playing for them. I just remember Donovan McNabb, drafted by Philly, who went on to playoff-runs every year, and a Superbowl appearance, being drafted and getting booed. Who were the Eagles supposed to take instead?! No one remembers because that guy was not worthy of playing in the league.

And the Warriors won -
who knew? I still don't believe they made the playoffs. If i start acknowledging it, then they'll lose. I actually ran the board for the game lastnight, and after crazy playoff-related technical difficulties (what was on the paper, and in the computer, were 2 different things), we had a great! broadcast. Tim Roye is good at making it exciting, but the way the W's were playing, and the crowd was into it, they didn't need much help anyway. The producer calling me on the phone kept getting drowned out by happy-excited crowd noise- that is the best sound on radio that there is...