Poor Alex Rodriguez.
They say that "Chicks dig the Longball", and A-Rod, fueled by this notion, admitted that he did what he had to do to hit those balls a long way.
Yes, he admits to taking steroids, between 2001 and 2003, but with a lot of little excuses, like that he was "young and stupid" (he was 25), that he and his cousin got it over the counter in the Dominican Republic, and that it was "amateur hour," because he didn't even know if they worked.
That's pretty funny stuff, you know. I cheated on a test in 6th Grade, when I forgot that it was coming up that day. I guess I was also "young and stupid" (I was 11), that my cousin (my buddy John K.) helped me cheat, that we got the answers over the counter/desk between us, and that it was "amateur hour" because we didn't even know if it worked (all the answers were probably wrong).
But I did it, because I didn't have a prayer, and it was math or something that you couldn't BS through. A-Rod was gonna get his bombs, whether it was 35-40 of 'em in the dry Texas heat, or 52-57 of 'em (see 2001-2, for the disputed Homer totals), apparently helped by some Tic-Tacs (his description of the pills) he got back home. Geez, if only I had Tic-Tacs that day in 6th grade...
So in honor of the "great" press-conference that A-Rod held the other day, we unveil our Laffy Productions "How are you feeling today, A-Rod" poster, available 8"x10", framed, or on a t-shirt, 100% cotton, because wearing and washing it will make it shrink, just like A-Rod apparently did after 2003 (and what some other of his bodyparts may have done during 2001-3). Rimshot here...
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